Im Scareder Than a Funny Quotes

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Adult Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back means I'll have to face my past. I've been running from it for so long.

[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick]

Adult Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?

Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past.

[laughs]

Adult Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.

Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.

[swings his stick again at Simba, who ducks out of the way]

Rafiki: Ha. You see? So what are you going to do?

Adult Simba: First, I'm gonna take your stick.

[Simba snatches Rafiki's stick and throws it and Rafiki runs to grab it]

Rafiki: No, no, no, no, not the stick! Hey, where you going?

Adult Simba: I'm going back!

Rafiki: Good! Go on! Get out of here!

[Rafiki begins laughing and screeching loudly]

Scar: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?

Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.

Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?

Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.

Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.

Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.

Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.

Young Simba: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope?

Mufasa: Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle of Life.

Rafiki: Look down there.

[Slowly Simba walks to the edge of the watering hole and peers inside. His reflection stares back at him]

Adult Simba: That's not my father. That's just my reflection.

Rafiki: No. Look harder.

[Rafiki touches the water which causes waves that change Simba's reflection into Mufasa]

Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.

Mufasa's Ghost: [From above] Simba.

Adult Simba: Father?

Mufasa's Ghost: [He appears in the sky as a group of stars] Simba, you have forgotten me.

Adult Simba: No. How could I?

Mufasa's Ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of life.

Adult Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.

Mufasa's Ghost: [Now fully formed in the sky] Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember who you are.

Adult Simba: [Mufasa's ghost begins to disappear] No! Please! Don't leave me!

Mufasa's Ghost: Remember.

Adult Simba: Father!

Mufasa's Ghost: Remember.

Adult Simba: Don't leave me.

Mufasa's Ghost: Remember.

Pumbaa: [about "Hakuna Matata"] It's our motto.

Young Simba: What's a motto?

Timon: Nothing. What's a motto with you?

[laughs]

Rafiki: Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana.

Adult Simba: Come on, will you cut it out?

Rafiki: Can't cut it out. It will grow right back. Hehehe.

Adult Simba: Creepy little monkey. Would you stop following me! Who are you?

Rafiki: The question is, who... are you?

Adult Simba: [sighs] I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure.

Rafiki: Well, I know who you are! Shh. Come here, it's a secret.

[Whispers, then grows louder]

Rafiki: Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana!

Adult Simba: Enough already! What's that supposed to mean, anyway?

Rafiki: It means you're a baboon... and I'm not.

Adult Simba: I think you're a little confused.

Rafiki: Wrong! I'm not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are!

Adult Simba: Oh, and I suppose you know?

Rafiki: Sure do. You're Mufasa's boy!

[Simba turns around to look at him, shocked]

Rafiki: Bye!

Timon: What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?

Young Simba: Dad?

Mufasa: Hmm?

Young Simba: We're pals, right?

Mufasa: Right.

Young Simba: And we'll always be together, right?

Mufasa: Simba, let me tell you something my father told me. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars.

Young Simba: Really?

Mufasa: Yes. So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.

Young Simba: Hey, Uncle Scar, guess what?

Scar: I despise guessing games.

Young Simba: I'm gonna be King of Pride Rock.

Scar: Oh, goody.

Young Simba: My dad just showed me the whole kingdom. And I'm gonna rule it all. Heheh.

Scar: Yes. Well, forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know.

[flops on his side]

Young Simba: Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?

Scar: A monkey's uncle.

Young Simba: [laughs] You're so weird.

Scar: You have no idea.

Zazu: [singing] Nooooobody knows the trouble I've seen. / Nooooobody knows my sorrow.

Scar: Oh, Zazu, do lighten up. Sing something with a little *bounce* in it.

Zazu: [singing] It's a small world after all...

Scar: NO! No. *Anything* but that!

Zazu: [singing] I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. / Dee-dee-dee-dee, / There they are just standing in a row.

Zazu,Scar: [Scar joins in] Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...

Zazu: [whispering] Oh, I never had to do this with Mufasa.

Zazu: Checking in with the morning report.

Mufasa: Fire away.

Zazu: Well the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. And the baboons are going ape over this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they're above it all... The tick birds are pecking on the elephants. I told the elephants to forget it, but they can't. The cheetahs are hard up, but I always say, cheetahs never prosper...

Banzai: [In the hyenas' lair, Banzai slouches with claw marks on his rear] Man, that lousy Mufasa... I won't be able to sit for a *week!*

Ed the Hyena: [laughs, but also tries his best to conceal it from time to time] Eh-hee-hee-hee. Heh-heheheheheheheheheh...

Banzai: [Glares at Ed and bares his teeth with impatience] It's not funny, Ed.

Ed the Hyena: [Cups his paws over his mouth then bursts into hysterical laughter, spitting as his tongue lofts out of his mouth] BA-HA-HA-HAAAA! HA-AH-AH-AH-AH!

[Inhales deeply]

Banzai: Hey, shut up!

Ed the Hyena: AH-HA-HO! HO-HO-HO-HO!

Banzai: [Bares his teeth] Grrrrrr...

[as Ed continues to laugh, Banzai barks and pounces on Ed, abruptly ending his laughing. The two commence a brief fight]

Shenzi: [Rolls her eyes and turns to the two yelping and rolling atop each other aggressively] Will you knock it off?

Banzai: [ed appears to be chewing on Banzai's leg; Banzai sits up] Well, he started it!

[It is now obvious that Ed is chewing his own leg repeatedly]

Shenzi: Look at you guys! No wonder we're dangling at the bottom of the food chain!

Banzai: [a string of drool dangles from his chin] Man, I hate dangling...

Shenzi: [Scoffs] Yeah? You know, if it weren't for those lions, we'd be *runnin'* the joint.

[Ed nods idiotically]

Banzai: Man, I *hate* lions!

Shenzi: [Grumbles] So pushy...

Banzai: And hairy...

Shenzi: [Smiles] Stinky...

Banzai: [Grins] And man are they...

Banzai,Shenzi: [Elongated use of the 'u'] U-GLY!

[both laugh hysterically]

Timon: Gee. He looks blue.

Pumbaa: I'd say brownish-gold.

Timon: No, no, no. I mean he's depressed.

Pumbaa: Oh.

Scar: [after forcing Simba to the edge of a cliff while a fire burns below] Now this looks familiar. Where have I seen this before? Hm, let me think. Oh, yes, I remember! This is just the way your father looked before he died.

[He claws Simba's paws the same way he did to Mufasa]

Scar: And here's 'my' little secret...

[whispering]

Scar: I killed Mufasa!

Young Simba: [In a flashback] Nooooo!

Adult Simba: [leaps back up and pounces on him] Nooo! Murderer!

[Timon and Zazu are cornered by hyenas]

Timon: Please don't eat me.

Pumbaa: Drop 'em!

Banzai: Hey, who's the pig?

Pumbaa: Are you talkin' to me?

Timon: Uh-oh, they called him a pig.

Pumbaa: Are you talking to *me*?

Timon: Ya shouldn't have done that.

Pumbaa: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

Timon: Now they're in for it!

Pumbaa: THEY CALL ME MR. PIG!

[screams as he charges towards the hyenas]

Pumbaa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[first lines]

Scar: [Scar catches a mouse] Life's not fair, is it? You see, I... well, I shall never be king. And you... shall never see the light of another day. Hmm-hmm-hmm, adieu.

Zazu: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?

Scar: [bellowing] Sarabiiiii!

[echoes and reechoes; we soon see Sarabi walking through the pack of hyenas, trying to snap at her; Simba looks on as Sarabi approaches]

Sarabi: Yes, Scar?

Scar: Where is your hunting party? They're not doing their job.

Sarabi: Scar, there is no food. The herds have moved on.

Scar: No! You're just not looking hard enough.

Sarabi: It's over. There is nothing left. We have only one choice. We *must* leave Pride Rock.

Scar: We're not going anywhere!

Sarabi: Then you have sentenced us to death!

Scar: Then so be it!

Sarabi: You can't do that!

Scar: I'm the king! I can do whatever I want!

Sarabi: If you were half the king Mufasa was, you...

Scar: [knocks Sarabi unconscious] I'm *eleven* times the king Mufasa was!

[Lightning flashes and illuminates a snarling Simba]

Scar: Mufasa! No! You're dead!

Sarabi: Your son's awake.

Mufasa: Before sunrise, he's *your* son.

Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar!

Scar: Oh, no, Mufasa. Perhaps *you* shouldn't turn your back on *me*.

Mufasa: [roars, runs to stand before him] Is that a challenge?

Scar: Temper, temper. I wouldn't *dream* of challenging you.

Zazu: Pity! Why not?

Scar: Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength... I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool.

Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.

Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?

Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.

Mufasa: [Surprised] Zazu!

Zazu: And just think, Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him.

Pumbaa: [to Young Simba] You know, kid, in times like this my buddy Timon here says: you got to put your behind in your past.

Timon: No, no, no. Amateur. Lie down before you hurt yourself. It's "You got to put your past behind you."

Zazu: Well, as slippery as your mind is, as the King's brother *you* should've been first in line.

Scar: [Scar threatens to bite, Zazu retreats toward Mufasa] Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born.

Mufasa: That hairball is my son. And *your* future king.

Scar: Oh, I shall have to practice my curtsy.

Timon: Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this?

[jumps up suddenly]

Timon: [yells] Did I miss something?

Adult Simba: Listen, you think you can just show up and tell me how to live my life? You don't even know what I've been through!

Nala: I would if you just tell me!

Adult Simba: Forget it!

Nala: Fine!

Scar: Now you wait here. Your father has a *marvelous* surprise for you.

Young Simba: Oooh. What is it?

Scar: If I told you, it wouldn't *be* a surprise, now would it?

Young Simba: If you tell me, I'll still *act* surprised.

Scar: Ho ho ho. You are such a naughty boy!

Young Simba: Come on, Uncle Scar.

Scar: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is just for you and your daddy. You know, a sort of... father-son... thing. Well! I'd better go get him.

Young Simba: I'll go with you.

Scar: No!

[regaining composure]

Scar: Heh heh heh. No. Just stay on this rock. You wouldn't want to end up in another mess like you did with the hyenas.

Young Simba: You know about that?

Scar: Simba, Simba, everybody knows about that.

Young Simba: Really?

Scar: Oh, yes. Lucky Daddy was there to save you, eh? Oh, and just between us, you might want to work on that little roar of yours. Hmm?

Young Simba: Oh, okay. Hey, Uncle Scar, will I like this surprise?

Scar: Simba, it's to *die* for!

Young Simba: [Nala's mother, Sarafina is giving Nala a bath] Hey, Nala.

Young Nala: Hi, Simba.

Young Simba: Come on, I just heard about this great place.

Young Nala: Simba, I'm kinda in the middle of a bath.

Sarabi: And it's time for yours.

[grabs Simba and starts licking him]

Young Simba: Mom! Mom, you're messing up my mane!

[Sarabi smiles]

Young Simba: Ok, ok. I'm clean. Can we go now?

Young Nala: So where are we going? It better not be anyplace dumb.

Young Simba: No, it's really cool.

Sarabi: So where is this really cool place?

Young Simba: Oh... around the waterhole.

Young Nala: The waterhole? What's so great about the waterhole?

Young Simba: [muttering] I'll *show* you when we *get* there.

Young Nala: Oh... Mom, can I go with Simba?

Sarafina - Nala's Mother: Hmm, what do you think Sarabi?

Sarabi: Well...

Young Simba,Young Nala: [with forced grins] Please!

Sarabi: It's alright with me.

Young Simba: Yeah!

Young Nala: All right!

Sarabi: As long as Zazu goes with you.

Young Simba: No, not Zazu!

Scar: Ahh, so you haven't told them your little secret. Well, Simba, now's your chance to tell them. Tell them who is responsible for Mufasa's death!

Adult Simba: [pause] I am.

Sarabi: [whispering] It's not true. Tell me it's not true.

Adult Simba: It's true.

Scar: You see? He admits it. Murderer!

Adult Simba: No! It was an accident!

Scar: If it weren't for you Mufasa would still be alive. It's your fault he's dead. Do you deny it?

Adult Simba: No.

Scar: Then you're *guilty*.

Adult Simba: No, I'm *not* a murderer!

Pumbaa: [singing] And I got down-hearted.

Timon: How did you feel?

Pumbaa: Every time that I...

Timon: [clapping Pumbaa's mouth shut] Hey, Pumbaa, not in front of the kids.

Pumbaa: [Faces the camera] Oh. Sorry.

Shenzi: Well, well, well, Banzai, what have we got here?

Banzai: Hmm, I don't know Shenzi uh, what do you think Ed?

Ed the Hyena: Oo ehehe, oh hahahaha

Banzai: Yeah, just what I was thinking, a trio of trespassers.

Zazu: And quite by accident let me assure you...

Shenzi: Whoa, whoa, wait wait. I know you, you're Mufasa's little stooge.

Zazu: I madame, am the king's majordomo.

Banzai: And that would make you...?

Young Simba: The future King!

Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?

Young Simba: Puh, you can't do anything to me.

Zazu: Uh-uh, technically they can, we are on their land.

Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they are nothing but slobbery, mangy stupid poachers.

Zazu: Ix-nay on the upid-stay...

Banzai: Who you callin' upid-stay?

Banzai: I thought things were bad under Mufasa.

Scar: What did you say?

Banzai: I said Muf...

[Shenzi elbows him]

Banzai: I said, uh... Que pasa?

Scar: Good. Now get out.

Banzai: Yeah, but... we're still hungry.

Scar: *Out*!

Timon: Let me get this straight. You're the king? And you never told us?

Adult Simba: Look, I'm still the same guy.

Timon: But with power!

Nala: Could you guys excuse us for a few minutes?

Timon: Hey, whatever she has to say, she can say in front of us. Right, Simba?

Adult Simba: Mm... Maybe you'd better go.

Timon: It starts. You think you know a guy...

[Timon and Pumbaa leave]

Adult Simba: Timon and Pumbaa. You learn to love 'em.

Scar: Simba, Simba, please. Please have mercy, I beg you.

Adult Simba: You don't deserve to live.

Scar: But, Simba, I... am... family. It's the hyenas who are the real enemy. It was their fault. It was their idea!

Adult Simba: Why should I believe you? Everything you ever told me was a lie.

Scar: What are you going to do? You wouldn't kill your *old* uncle...?

Adult Simba: No, Scar. I'm not like you.

Scar: Oh, Simba, thank you. You are truly noble. I'll make it up to you, I promise. How can I, ah, prove myself to you? Tell me anything, anything.

Adult Simba: Run. Run away, Scar. And never return.

Scar: Yes. Of course. As you wish,

[Scar's words turn into a snarl]

Scar: your Majesty!

[throws embers in Simba's face]

Adult Simba: Aaah!

Pumbaa: Kid, what's eatin' ya?

Timon: Nothing, he's at the top of the food chain!

[laughs]

Timon: The food chain!

[chuckles nervously]

Timon: [of the decimated Pride Rock] We're gonna fight your uncle... for this?

Adult Simba: Yes, Timon. This is my home.

Timon: Whoa. Talk about your fixer-upper.

Mufasa: Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.

Young Simba: Wow.

Mufasa: A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. One day, Simba, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the new king.

Young Simba: And this'll all be mine?

Mufasa: Everything.

Young Simba: Everything the light touches...

Scar: So, your father showed you the whole kingdom, did he?

Young Simba: Everything.

Scar: He didn't show you what's beyond that rise at the northern border?

Young Simba: Well, no. He said I can't go there.

Scar: And he's absolutely right! It's far too dangerous. Only the bravest lions go there.

Young Simba: Well, I'm brave. What's out there?

Scar: No, I'm sorry, Simba, I just *can't* tell you.

Young Simba: Why not?

Scar: Simba, Simba, I'm only looking out for the well-being of my favorite nephew.

Young Simba: Yeah, right. I'm your only nephew.

Scar: All the more reason for me to be protective. An elephant graveyard is no place for a young prince.

Young Simba: An elephant what? Whoa!

Scar: Oops! Oh, dear, I've said too much! Well, I suppose you'd have found out sooner or later, you being so clever and all. Just promise me you'll never visit that dreadful place!

Young Simba: No problem!

Scar: There's a good lad. You run along now and have fun. And remember... its our little secret.

Timon: Hyenas. I hate hyenas. So what's the plan for getting past those guys?

Adult Simba: Live bait.

Timon: Good idea.

[realizes what he means]

Timon: HEY!

Adult Simba: Tell them the truth.

Scar: Truth? But truth is in the eye of the behold...

Scar: [Simba chokes him, he whispers] All right. All right. I did it.

Adult Simba: So they can hear you.

Scar: I killed Mufasa!

Zazu: What's going on?

Mufasa: A pouncing lesson.

Zazu: Oh, very good. Pouncing. *Pouncing*? Oh, no, Sire, you can't be serious...

[Mufasa signs for "turn around"]

Zazu: This is so humiliating.

Scar: Mufasa's death was a terrible tragedy; but to lose Simba, who had barely begun to live... For me it is a deep personal loss. So it is with a heavy heart that I assume the throne. Yet, out of the ashes of this tragedy, we shall rise to greet the dawning of a new era... in which lion and hyena come together, in a great and glorious future!

Mufasa: Simba, I'm very disappointed in you.

Young Simba: I know.

Mufasa: You could have been killed! You deliberately disobeyed me! And what's worse, you put Nala in danger!

Young Simba: I was just trying to be brave like you.

Mufasa: Simba, I'm only brave when I have to be. Being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble.

Young Simba: But you're not scared of anything.

Mufasa: I was today.

Young Simba: You were?

Mufasa: Yes. I thought I might lose you.

Young Simba: Whoah. I guess even kings get scared, huh?

Mufasa: Mmm-hmm.

Young Simba: But you know what?

Mufasa: What?

Young Simba: I bet those hyenas were even scareder.

Mufasa: [laughs] That's 'cause nobody messes with your dad! Come here, you!

Young Simba: [laughing] No, no!

[Mufasa and Simba have a little wrestling match]

Adult Simba: Well...

Timon: Yeah?

Adult Simba: Somebody once told me that the great kings of the past are up there, watching over us.

Pumbaa: Really?

Timon: You mean a bunch of royal dead guys are watching us?

Zazu: [leading Simba and Nala to the waterhole] Step lively. The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave.

Young Nala: [whispering to Simba] So where are we really going?

Young Simba: An elephant graveyard.

Young Nala: Wow!

Young Simba: Shhhh! Zazu.

Young Nala: Right. So how are we going to ditch the dodo?

[Simba starts whispering to her]

Zazu: Just look at you two. Little seeds of romance blossoming in the savannah. Your parents will be *thrilled*, what with your being betrothed and all.

Young Simba: Be-what?

Zazu: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.

Young Nala: Meaning...?

Zazu: One day, you two are going to be married!

Young Simba: Yuck!

Young Nala: Ewww.

Young Simba: I can't marry her. She's my friend!

Young Nala: Yeah. It'd be so weird!

Zazu: Well, sorry to bust the old bubble, but you two turtledoves have no choice. It's a tradition going back generations.

Young Simba: Well, when I'm king, that'll be the first thing to go.

Zazu: Not so long as I'm around.

Young Simba: Well, in that case, you're fired.

Zazu: Hmmm... Nice try, but only the king can do that.

Young Nala: Well, he's the future king.

Young Simba: Yeah. So you have to do what I tell you.

Zazu: Not yet I don't. And with an attitude like that, I'm afraid you're shaping up to be a pretty pathetic king indeed.

Pumbaa: Your Majesty. I gravel at your feet.

[starts kissing Simba's feet]

Adult Simba: Stop that.

Timon: It's not gravel, it's grovel.

Banzai: But we gotta finish the job.

Shenzi: Well, he's as good as dead out there anyway. And *if* he comes back, we'll kill him.

Banzai: [calling out to Simba] Yeah! You hear that? If you ever come back, we'll kill ya!

Timon: So where you from?

Young Simba: Who cares? I can't go back.

Timon: Ah, you're an outcast! That's great. So are we.

Rafiki: What was *that*?

[laughs]

Rafiki: The weather - Pbbbah! Very peculiar. Don't you think?

Adult Simba: Yeah. Looks like the winds are changing.

Rafiki: Ahhh. Change is good.

Nala: What made you come back?

Adult Simba: I finally got some sense knocked into me. And I've got the bump to prove it.

Timon: [singing and dancing the hula] Luau! / If you're hungry for a hunk of fat or juicy meat / Eat my buddy Pumbaa here, / 'Cause he is a treat / Come on down and dine / On this tasty swine/ All you hafta do is get in line. / Ahhhh ya achin'...?

Pumbaa: Yup, yup, yup!

Timon: Forrrr some bacon?

Pumbaa: Yup, yup, yup!

Timon: Heeee's a big pig!

Pumbaa: Yup, yup!

Timon: You can be a big pig, too. Oy!

Adult Simba: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip you apart.

Scar: Oh, Simba, you must understand. The pressures of ruling a kingdom...

Adult Simba: Are no longer yours. Step down, Scar.

Zazu: [caged while the battle rages around him] Let me out! Let me out!

Timon: [fleeing the hyenas] Lemme in! Lemme in!

Nala: What's happened to you? You're not the Simba I remember.

Adult Simba: You're right, I'm not. Now are you satisfied?

Nala: No, just disappointed.

Adult Simba: You know you're starting to sound like my father.

Nala: Good. At least one of us does.

Timon: [Trying to push Pumbaa, whose stuck under a log, while running away from a Lioness] Why do I always have to save your... Ahhh!

Timon: Geez! It's a lion! Run, Pumbaa! Move it!

Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, it's just a *little* lion. Look at him. He's so cute and all alone! Can we keep him?

Timon: Pumbaa, are you nuts? We're talking about a lion; lions eat guys like us!

Pumbaa: But he's so little.

Timon: He's gonna get bigger.

Pumbaa: Maybe he'll be on our side.

Timon: A - huh! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Maybe he'll b-... Hey, I got it! What if he's on our side? You know, having a lion around might not be such a bad idea.

Young Simba: What am I gonna do?

Scar: Run. Run away, and never return.

[Simba leaves and hyenas come out of the mist]

Scar: Kill him.

Timon: This looks like a good spot to rustle up some grub.

Young Simba: What's that?

Timon: A grub. What's it look like?

[Timon eats the grub]

Young Simba: Ewwwww, gross.

Timon: Tastes like chicken.

Young Simba: Everything the light touches... What about that shadowy place?

Mufasa: That's beyond our borders. You must never go there, Simba.

Young Simba: But I thought a king can do whatever he wants.

Mufasa: There's more to being a king than getting your way all the time.

Young Simba: There's more?

Mufasa: [laughing] Simba.

Mufasa: [above the stampeding wildebeest] Scar! Broth-brother, help me!

Scar: [Scar puts his claws into Mufasa's paws] Long live the King.

[throws him into the stampede]

Mufasa: Aaaaah!

Young Simba: [as the Camera zooms out] Nooooooooo!

Adult Simba: [in a huff] She's wrong. I can't go back. What would it prove, anyway? You can't change the past.

[calling to the sky]

Adult Simba: You said you'd always be there for me! But you're not. It's because of me. It's my fault. It's my fault.

[singing]

Timon: And if he falls / In love tonight / It can be assumed...

Pumbaa: His carefree days / With us are history.

Timon,Pumbaa: In short, our pal / Is doomed!

[Timon and Pumbaa both start crying]

Young Simba: Hey, look, Banana Beak is scared.

Zazu: It's Mr. Banana Beak to you, Fuzzy! And right now, we are all in very real danger.

Young Simba: Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!

Banzai: Hey, Boss!

Scar: Oh, what is it this time?

Banzai: We've got a bone to pick with you!

Shenzi: I'll handle this. Scar, there's no food, no water...

Banzai: Yeah, it's dinner time, and we ain't got no stinkin' entrees.

Scar: It's the lionesses' job to do the hunting.

Banzai: Yeah, but they won't go hunt.

Scar: Oh... eat Zazu.

Zazu: Oh, you wouldn't want me. I'd be so tough and gamey and... eeww...

Scar: Oh, Zazu, don't be ridiculous. All you need is a little garnish.

Shenzi: What's the hurry? We'd love you to stick around for dinner.

Banzai: Yeah. We could have whatever's "lion" around.

Shenzi: Oh wait, wait, wait. I got one, I got one. Make mine a "cub" sandwich. Whatcha think?

[all laugh]

Shenzi: [Ed points]

Shenzi: What, Ed?

Banzai: Hey, did we order this dinner to go?

Shenzi: No, why?

Banzai: 'Cause THERE IT GOES!

Shenzi: [Banzai's stomach growls] Shut up.

Banzai: I can't help it. I'm so hungry... I gotta have a wildebeest.

Shenzi: Stay *put*.

Banzai: Well... can't I just pick off one of the little sick ones?

Shenzi: NO! Wait for the signal from Scar.

[Scar appears on the horizon]

Shenzi: There he is. Let's go.

[Watching Simba and Nala]

Timon: I tell ya, Pumbaa, this stinks!

Pumbaa: Oh, sorry.

Timon: Not you, THEM! Him... Her... alone.

Sarabi: Mufasa?

Adult Simba: No. It's me.

Sarabi: Simba? But how...?

Adult Simba: It doesn't matter. I'm home.

Scar: Simba? Simba! Well, it sure is a surprise to see you...

[turns to the hyenas]

Scar: ...*alive*!

[last lines]

Mufasa's ghost: [as Simba gazes into the night sky] Remember...

Banzai: Oh, Scar, it's just you.

Shenzi: We were afraid it was somebody important.

Banzai: Yeah, you know, like Mufasa.

Scar: I see.

Banzai: Now that's power.

Shenzi: Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder.

Banzai: Mufasa!

Shenzi: Ooooh! Do it again!

Banzai: Mufasa!

Shenzi: Ooooh!

Banzai: Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa!

Shenzi: Ooooh!

[breaks into laughter]

Shenzi: And it tingles me!

Scar: I'm *surrounded* by idiots.

Scar: Ahh, my friends.

Shenzi: Friends? I thought he said we were the enemy.

Banzai: That's what I heard. Ed?

Ed the Hyena: Oo-oo-ooh, he-he, he-he-he

Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning.

Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu, you made me lose my lunch.

Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than that when the King gets through with you. He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia...

Scar: [approaches him menacingly] Oooh... I quiver with *fear*...

Young Nala: [sees an elephant skull] I wonder if its brains are still in there?

Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?

Young Simba: Puh. You can't do anything to me.

Zazu: Uhh... technically, they can. We are on their land.

Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they're nothing but slobbering mangy stupid poachers.

Zazu: Ix-nay on the oopid-stay...

Banzai: Who're you callin' "oopid-stay?"

Zazu: Oh, my, my, my. Look at the sun. It's time to go!

Scar: [Scar and the Hyenas approach him, leading him to the edge of a cliff] No, Simba, you're in trouble again. But this time, Daddy isn't here to save you. And now everyone knows *why*!

[Simba falls back, but hangs desperately onto the edge]

Nala: SIMBA!

[Lightning strikes the ground below, causing a fire to start up]

Timon: [to Nala, after she accidentally surprises him] Don't ever do that again! Carnivores, ugh!

Timon: I saved you.

[Pumbaa snorts]

Timon: Pumbaa helped... a little.

Timon: Lady, have you got your lions crossed!

Pumbaa: What'd ya do, kid?

Young Simba: Something terrible. But I don't wanna talk about it.

Timon: Good. We don't wanna hear about it.

Shenzi: Hey. There he goes. There he goes.

Banzai: So go get him.

Shenzi: There ain't no way I'm going in there. What, you want me to come out there looking like you? Cactus-Butt?

Timon: Look, kid: bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right?

Young Simba: Right.

Timon: *Wrong*! When the world turns its back on you, you turn your *back* on the world.

Scar: [singing] I know that your powers of retention / Are as wet as a warthog's backside / But thick as you are, / Pay attention! / My words are a matter of pride / It's clear from vacant expressions / The lights are not all on upstairs / But we're talking kings and successions / Even *you* can't be caught unawares!

Scar: [singing] Of course, / Quid pro quo, / You're expected / To take certain duties on board / The future is littered with prizes / And though I'm the main addressee / The point that I must emphasize is...

[Leaps in front of a hyena]

Scar: YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!

[hyena falls into a volcano]

Timon: Repeat after me.

[clears throat]

Timon: Hakuna Matata.

Young Simba: What?

Pumbaa: [slower] Hakuna Matata. It means "no worries".

Pumbaa: [through a mouthful of grub and worms; to Simba] You'll learn to love 'em!

Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family sire. Two in mine actually.

Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?

Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.

Mufasa: Zazu!

Zazu: And just think. Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him!

Banzai: Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared... for what?

Scar: For the death of the king!

Banzai: Why? Is he sick?

Scar: No, fool, we're going to kill him. And Simba, too.

Shenzi: Hey, great idea! Who needs a king?

Banzai,Shenzi: [singing and dancing around Ed] No king, no king, la la la la la la...

Scar: Idiots! There will *be* a king!

Banzai: Hey, but you said that...

Scar: *I* will be king. Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!

Banzai,Shenzi: Yeah, all right! Long live the king!

[other hyenas join in]

Banzai,Shenzi: Long live the king! Long live the king!

Rafiki: [singing] Asante sana Squash banana, wewe nugu mimi hapana.

Adult Simba: Come on. Will you cut it out?

Rafiki: Can't cut it out. It grow right back!

Adult Simba: Creepy little monkey. Will you stop following me? Who are you?

Rafiki: The question is who are you?

Adult Simba: I thought I knew. Now I'm not so sure.

Rafiki: Well, I know who you are. Ssh, come here. It's a secret.

[starts singing in Simba's ear]

Rafiki: Asante sana Squash banana, wewe nugu mimi hapana

Adult Simba: Enough already! What is that supposed to mean anyway?

Rafiki: It means you're a baboon and I'm not.

Adult Simba: I think you're a little confused.

Rafiki: Wrong! I'm not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are!

Adult Simba: Oh and I suppose you know?

Rafiki: Sure do. You're Mufasa's boy!

[Simba looks at Rafiki]

Rafiki: Bye!

Adult Simba: [Rafiki runs off and Simba chases him] Hey wait!

Adult Simba: [Catching up] You knew my father?

Rafiki: Correction. I know you're father.

Adult Simba: I hate to tell you this but he died. A long time ago.

Rafiki: Nope! wrong again! He's alive and I will show him to you! You follow old Rafiki. He knows the way!

Timon: [singing] I can see what's happening.

Pumbaa: What?

Timon: [singing] And they don't have a clue.

Pumbaa: Who?

Timon: [singing] They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line: / Our trio's down to two.

Pumbaa: Oh.

Timon: [singing]

[sarcastic, with French accent]

Timon: The sweet caress of twilight.

[normal voice, but still sarcastic]

Timon: There's magic everywhere. / And with all this romantic atmosphere, / Disaster's in the aiiiiiiir!

Scar: Why! If it isn't my big brother descending from on high to mingle with the commoners.

Mufasa: Sarabi and I didn't see you at the presentation of Simba.

Scar: That was today? Oh, I feel simply awful.

Mufasa: Simba, I'm very disappointed in you!

Young Simba: I know.

Mufasa: You could have been killed. You deliberatly disobeyed me and what's worse, you put Nala in danger!

Young Simba: I was just trying to be brave like you.

Mufasa: I'm only brave when I *have* to be. Simba, being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble.

Young Simba: But you're not scared of anything.

Mufasa: I was today.

Young Simba: You were?

Mufasa: Yes. I thought I might lose you.

Young Simba: Oh. I guess even kings get scared, huh?

Mufasa: Mm-hmm

Young Simba: But you know what?

Mufasa: What?

Young Simba: I think those hyenas were even scarder

Mufasa: Cause nobody messes with your dad! Come here you!

Young Simba: [Mufasa grabs Simba and gives him a noogie] Oh no, no! Aah!

Young Simba: [Simba squirms away and chases his father and tackles him] Come here. Got ya!

[They roll in the grass laughing]

Young Simba: Dad?

Mufasa: Hmm?

Young Simba: We're pals right?

Mufasa: Right.

Young Simba: And we'll always be together right?

Mufasa: Simba, let me tell you something that *my* father told me. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars.

Young Simba: Really?

Mufasa: Yes. So whenever you feel alone just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.

Nala: Have you guys seen Simba?

Timon: I thought he was with you.

Nala: He was but now I can't find him. Where is he?

[We hear Rafiki's laugh. He's sitting in a tree above them]

Rafiki: [Chuckles] You won't find him here. The king... has returned.

Nala: I can't believe it. He's gone back!

Timon: Gone back? What do you mean?

[He looks to the tree. Rafiki has disappeared]

Timon: Hey! What's going on here? Who's the monkey?

Nala: Simba's gone back to challenge Scar.

Timon: Who?

Nala: Scar.

Pumbaa: Who's got a scar?

Nala: No, no, no. It's his uncle.

Timon: The monkey's his uncle?

Nala: No! Simba's gone back to challenge his uncle to take his place as king.

Timon,Pumbaa: Ohh.

Banzai: The little majordomo bird, hippity-hop, all the way to the birdie boiler.

Zazu: Oh no, not the birdie boiler!

[Zazu rockets away, with his tail feathers on fire while the hyenas laugh in triumph]

[slurping up a worm]

Pumbaa: Slimy yet satisfying.

Timon: I'm telling you, kid: this is the great life. No rules, no responsibilities...

[he reaches into a hole in a log and various insects skitter out, with him holding a blue bug; he points to the rest of the insects]

Timon: Ooh, the little cream-filled kind!

Timon: [seeing a red beetle] These are rare delicacies.

[takes it and eats it]

Timon: Piquant with a very pleasant crunch.

Shenzi: What's the hurry? We'd looove you to stick around for dinner.

Banzai: Yeaaaah! We could have whatever's... "lion" around!. Get it? Lion around!

Shenzi: Oh wait, wait, wait, I got one, I got one: make mine a "cub" sandwich; whatcha think?

[all laugh]

Adult Simba: Look, Sometimes bad things happen...

Nala: Simba.

Adult Simba: And there's nothing you can do about it. So why worry?

Nala: Because it's your responsibility.

Adult Simba: Well, what about you? You left.

Nala: I left to find help, and I found *you*. Don't you understand? You're our only hope.

Adult Simba: Sorry.

Nala: [about Scar] Simba, he let the hyenas take over the Pride Lands.

Adult Simba: What?

Nala: Everything's destroyed. There's no food, no water. Simba, if you don't do something soon, everyone will starve.

Adult Simba: I can't go back.

Nala: Why?

Adult Simba: You wouldn't understand.

Nala: What wouldn't I understand?

Adult Simba: No, no, no. It doesn't matter. Hakuna Matata.

Nala: What?

Adult Simba: Hakuna Matata. It's something I learned out here.

Adult Simba: Nala? Is it really you?

Nala: Who are you?

Adult Simba: It's me, Simba.

Nala: Simba?

[he nods. Nala was elated to see him]

Nala: Whoa!

[they bud their heads]

Nala: How did you...

Adult Simba: How did you...

[Timon stood there surprised and speechless]

Adult Simba: Wow!

Nala: Where did you come from?

Adult Simba: This is gr... It's great to see you!

Timon: Hey, what's goin' on here?

Adult Simba: What are you doing here?

Nala: What do you mean what am I doing here? What are you doing here?

Timon: Hey! What's goin' on here?

Adult Simba: Isn't this a great place?

Nala: It is beautiful. But I don't understand something. You've been alive all this time. Why didn't you come back to Pride Rock.

Adult Simba: Well, I just needed to get out on my own, live my own life. And I did, and it's great.

Nala: Wait till everyone finds out you've been here all this time. And your mother, what will she think?

Adult Simba: She doesn't have to know. Nobody has to know.

Nala: Of course they do. Everyone thinks you're dead.

Adult Simba: They do.

Nala: Yeah. Scar told us about the stampede.

Adult Simba: He did? What else did he tell you?

Nala: What else matters? You're alive. And that means, you're the king.

Timon: King? Pbbfft. Lady, have you got your lions crossed!

Scar: Simba. What have you done?

Young Simba: There were wildebeests, and he tried to save me. It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen.

Scar: Of course. Of course you didn't. No one ever means for these things to happen. But the king is dead. And if it weren't for you, he'd still be alive.

Timon: [to Pumbaa] It's not gravel, it's grovel. And don't. He's not the king

[to Simba]

Timon: Are ya?

Adult Simba: No.

Nala: Simba.

Adult Simba: No, I'm not the king. Maybe I was gonna be but that was a long time ago.

Adult Simba: [about Mufasa] I hate to tell you this, but he died a long time ago.

Rafiki: Nope. Wrong again. Ha ha ha. He's alive. And I'll show him to you. You follow old Rafiki, he knows the way. Come on.

Zazu: [On Mufasa's Back] Oh look Sire. The herds are on the move.

Mufasa: Yes...

Scar: [Worried and Desperate] Quick Mufasa! Stampede, in the gorge. Simba's down there!

Mufasa: Simba?

Zazu: As the king's brother *you* should have been first in line.

Scar: Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born.

Mufasa: That "hairball" is my son and you're future king.

Scar: [Begins walking away] Oh, I shall practice my curtsey.

Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar.

Scar: Oh, no Mufasa. Perhaps *you* shouldn't turn your back on *me*.

Mufasa: [Roars angrily and runs in front of Scar's path] Is that a challenge?

Scar: Temper temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.

Zazu: Pity. Why not?

Scar: Well as far as brains go I got the lion's share but when it comes to brute strength. I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool

Zazu: [to Mufasa; pointing at Simba, who is holding on to the branch of a dead tree in the middle of the stampede] There! There! On the tree!

Mufasa: Hold on, Simba!

[a wildebeet's horn hits the tree which begins to break]

Young Simba: [wails] AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!

[Mufasa jumps off the cliff and dives to Simba's rescue]

Zazu: [singing] If this is where the monarchy is headed/ count me out! Out of service, out of Africa/ I wouldn't hang about...

[the log that he is perched on goes over a water of psychedelic colors]

Zazu: Ahhh!

[Zazu manages to escape the free-fall as he flies towards the camera]

Zazu: [singing crossly] This child is getting wildly OUT OF WIIIIIIIING!

Nala: We really needed you at home.

Adult Simba: No one needs me.

Nala: Yes, we do. You're the king.

Adult Simba: Nala, we've been through this. I'm not the king. Scar is.

Scar: [to the hyenas as Simba was running away] Kill him.

Scar: [about the hyenas] They think I'm the King.

Nala: But we don't. Simba's the rightful King.

Adult Simba: The choice is yours, Scar. Either step down or a fight.

Young Simba: [Simba is clinging on to a dead tree branch for dear life] Zazu, help me!

Zazu: Your father's on the way! Hold on!

Young Simba: [scared] HURRY!

Timon: When the World turns its back on you, you turn your back on the World!

Adult Simba: [sternly] Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip apart.

Scar: [nervously] Oh, Simba. You must understand. The pressures of ruling a kingdom...

Adult Simba: [interrupts] Are no longer yours. Step down, Scar.

Scar: Oh, well, I would, naturally. However, there is one little problem. You see them?

[points up to the hyenas as they have their scary faces]

Scar: They think I'm king.

Nala: [enters the scene] Well, we don't. Simba's the rightful king.

Adult Simba: The choice is yours, Scar. Either step down or fight.

Scar: Oh, must it all end in violence? I'd hate to be responsible for the death of a family member. Wouldn't you agree, Simba?

Adult Simba: That's not gonna work, Scar. I've put it behind me.

Scar: But what about your faithful subjects? Have they put it behind them?

Nala: Simba, what is he talking about?

Scar: Ahh, so you haven't told them your little secret. Well, Simba, now's your chance to tell them. Tell them who is responsible for Mufasa's death!

Adult Simba: I am.

Sarabi: [walks to Simba] It's not true. Tell me it's not true.

Adult Simba: It's true.

Scar: You see? He admits it! Murderer!

Adult Simba: No, it was an accident!

Scar: If it weren't for you, Mufasa would still be alive! It's your fault he's dead; do you deny it?

Adult Simba: No.

Scar: Then, you're guilty!

Adult Simba: No, I'm not a murderer!

Scar: [starts backing Simba] Oh, Simba, you're in trouble again. And this time, daddy is not here to save you. And now, everyone knows Why!

[Simba slips over the edge and is clinging to the ledge by his forepaws]

Nala: [shocked] Simba!

[lightning strikes below, igniting a fire]

Scar: [starts thinking] Now, this looks familiar. Hmm, where have I seen this before? Let me think. Hmm.

[gets the idea]

Scar: Oh, yes, I remember. This is just the way your father looked before he died.

[grabs Simba with his claws]

Scar: And here's my little secret.

[whispers in his ear]

Scar: I killed Mufasa.

Adult Simba: [flashes back of Mufasa falling in a stampede] Noooo... .!

[lunges up and pins Scar on his back]

Adult Simba: Murderer!

[all lions gasp]

Scar: No, Simba, please...

Adult Simba: Tell them the truth!

Scar: Truth? But truth is in the eye of the behold...

[Simba starts choking him]

Scar: Alright. Alright!

[quietly]

Scar: I did it.

Adult Simba: [snarling] So, they can hear you.

Scar: [grudgingly] I killed Mufasa!

[All the lions and hyenas starts fighting]

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110357/quotes/qt0371365

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